the end of another week

Here we are at the end of another week. I don't know about you lot but I seem to be having a lot of trouble getting a decent night's sleep over the last few weeks. Maybe its just me, perhaps its some mystical force giving me a glimpse of what life is going to be like with a baby in the house!

We had a bit of a scare this week, Nic visited the midwife & was told L'il Vamp had an irregular heartbeat & she had to go to the hospital straight away to get it checked out. She text'd me asking me to leave work so I could drive her to the hospital. Obviously we were both very worried about this, neither of us knew what this would mean but we were both preparing ourselves for the worst. Once the nurse had hooked Nic up to the heart monitor she said " I take it the midwife told you this can be quite normal at this stage of the pregnancy", well as it happens.....NO SHE BLOODY DIDN'T. Now if the midwife had told us this we would have still gone to the hospital a bit apprehensive but we would not have been the nervous wrecks that we were. It is really unfair when something like this happens, okay so maybe we still had to go & get it checked out but the midwife should have realised how badly we would react to the news. Why don't these people realise what sort of problems they can be causing by not telling us it can be normal, it's not like we'd say sod going to the hospital if it can be normal. We were told everything seems to be okay, L'il Vamp's heart misses between every 4th & 15th beat but they said we shouldn't worry too much as he appears healthy in every other respect & after all, he's still in there for a reason, he's still growing & developing. Nic has another appointment in 2 weeks with the midwife so we'll have it checked again then. I was so angry that its a good job the midwife wasn't at the hospital, I may have slapped her if she was.

It feels so strange that in 6 weeks we should be holding this little child in our arms, the due date is 22nd feb. What sort of parents are we going to be, will he like us, will he totally stress out the cats!! My sister is moving in march so during the february half term she is going to bring us loads of other hand me downs from her 2 boys ( personally I think she's just making excuses so she can come & see her nephew ). My sis can't wait, I think she's more excited than us. Not sure if I told you before but when I went to see my sister & told her about the baby she said she was really happy that she was going to be an auntie. There's only me & my sister so I am her only chance to be an auntie on our side of the family, her husband's sister has 3 kids and he wasn't too impressed, he couldn't really see how much difference it makes with being an auntie to my kids instead of being an auntie by marriage.

Work was a little better this week, despite not getting much sleep at all the last few weeks it seems things slowly getting back to normal at work. Once again we are having a move round, people moving desks...but not me!! I have a nice desk next to the window, we have rows of desks & a few little clusters, mine's in one of the clusters which makes it a bit quieter than some of the others. I have so far managed to keep my desk during a few desk moves which is nice because it means I get to concentrate more due to it being a bit quieter than others. They have announced that we are to get 3 more people for our dept so that should make things better as we can still give the quality we do but the bosses will be on our backs less because we will obviously get more work done. We lost some of the team a few months ago when they were promoted but we have not been able to replace them until now. Our boss is on about organising a team night out soon, normally I stay away from these things as I have no desire to spend all day with these people & then end up having a boring night with them as well. There are a few people that I would socialise with but we can sort our own nights out ( & yes Poodle, you are one of them!!! ), we all get on at work but most of the people are not the kind I could enjoy a pint with. I've just read that back & it sounds a bit snobby but its not meant to, I suppose you all have people at work that you get on well enough with but would not want to go out socially with them.

I think I have bored you people enough for today, I apologise if I have not left comments on your journals recently but I find it difficult to make time these days. I do still try to keep up with my alerts but as I find more journals that I like I have less time to leave comments for you all.

Take care all....VampJack x

 

Back to work again today, I think I should clear something up as well. I may have given the impression that I don't like my job, most of the time I do like my job. yes, sometimes I get bored ( particularly when doing a month of Customs paperwork issues ) & like all big companies we too have loads of managers that sit in luxury offices with no real idea what the day to day issues are in our roles, so hence we get changes made that only benefit the shareholders & the bean-counters. If they actually listened to us then maybe the customers would benefit more, so the job would be more enjoyable & this would ultimately lead to better revenue ( but what the hell do I know, I'm only the monkey obeying their every command ). So as I say I do like my job most of the time but like most people I use my journal to get things off my chest. In my last entry when I said I couldn't be bothered I was referring more to the drudgery of returning to work after the christmas/new year holiday, so sorry if I gave you the impression I hated my job.

Now that's sorted I can tell you I have spent a lot of the weekend feeling very sorry for myself & generally not wanting to do anything more strenuous than reading my book. Nic had other idea's & yesterday managed to drag me round Asda, Matalan & the city centre. We got some really nice clothes for L'il Vamp, some sleepsuits, a dressing gown ( really nice Tigger one, so nice & cuddly that everyone's gonna want to hug him ), some shirts & pj's. We got various sizes cos we don't want to end up with loads of newborn clothes & then find out he's a little porker!! Nic's been busy while I was at work today & sorted out his wardrobe, I swear this kids got more clothes than me now. We've already got the pushchair but that's at Nic's parents until L'il Vamp's born, we know which cotbed we want as well but its out of stock at the moment so we are looking every day until it comes back in stock because it's getting very close to the big day, we may end up having to get an alternative if it's not back in stock very soon. We have been buying him clothes but he hasn't got many toys yet, my sister has given us some & we have bought a couple of items but not much, then again when he's first born he won't need too many. We thought we'd get a few bits for christmas but only had 1 present for the baby ( baby monitors ), Nic's parents have threatened to buy him a coventry football kit, knowing my luck he will turn out to be a big footie fan ( I HATE football ) so I will have to watch footie just to please him. Still at least if he wants to go to the games I can get Nic's parents to take him ( unless he wants to see a proper football team instead of coventry ).

Well better stop blathering on, Nic's downstairs watching Nip/Tuck so I've had to pause my medal of honour game, the only downside to the game is that you can't save it until you complete a mission so I was going to go to bed & now I have to stay up & finish the mission during the adverts. Stay safe everybody & if you are in the UK......don't forget that umbrella if you go out this week!!

VampJack x

Man flu time again!!

I hate having a cold! I can't breath, my head aches, my eyes are sore & worst of all....I still have to go to work. I get so frustrated when I get a cold because my brain seems to take a holiday, I find it so difficult to concentrate.

Nic's gone to see a pantomime tonight so I get the house to myself & have just spent the last 90 minutes playing medal of honour on the ps2. I am so addicted to that game. Our friends mum runs the local brownies group & they've taken them to see the pantomime so they asked Nic along as well. Only bad thing is I can't chill out with my bottle of wine because I have to go & pick her up later, she did say she'd walk but no way am I going to let her walk home on her own. She would have to walk through one of the roughest area's of cov & it would take her quite a while to walk, she's not been too well lately so can't have her wandering the streets at night can I.

This last week at work has been so boring, the people I regularly talk to at work have all been the same as me, can't be bothered with working & I must admit I don't think any of us have really worked that hard. Then again what do the bosses expect.

Anyway gotta dash I have just had my orders via text to go and pick up Nic.

Bye for now...VampJack x

Happy New year

Happy New Year to everyone in j'land.

This year I, like most of you have had some ups & downs. Most notably the best part of my year was finding out I am going to be a daddy, I can't believe its now less than 2 months to the due date ( feb 22nd ). I know I have said it before but I still cannot believe I have gone from being not bothered about having kids to being completely over the moon about L'il Vamp. This feels like the greatest thing to ever happen to me, mind you I might feel differently in 6 months time when I haven't had any sleep for months! Nic is finding it quite difficult at the moment as she is very uncomfortable with this little wriggly, kicking thing inside her. I'm sure she'll feel its all been worthwhile once she gets to hold our son. So this is the last new year when we get to go out without having to sort out babysitters, saying that L'il Vamp will give us the perfect excuse to stay at home when we can't be bothered going out.

Other good news this year was finally getting to have my day in court over the car accident I had in  june 2003, I find it hard to understand how it took over 3 years to be resolved but at least it is now resolved & I can now afford to insure a car again as the accident was found to be caused 100% by the other driver. His insurance company has also made me an offer now but I am waiting for my barristers advice before I accept it. Hopefully the cheque will be sent quite quickly if I accept the offer, it would be nice to have the extra cash when the baby arrives.

The year has not all been happy though, we have had some bad times but in an effort not to dwell on anything bad I will not go into the details here. Since I found out that I am going to be a dad the bad things don't get me down like they used to, okay so I still get frustrated & like to get things off my chest when things annoy or upset me but I have suffered with depression in the past & I know how different my life could be if I let everything get on top of me.

Globally there has been  a lot going on this year & unfortunately not all good. As mentioned in other journals in the last couple of days I too feel that we are not as safe as we used to be, we are still hearing about our soldiers dying in foreign countries that they really shouldn't be in but instead of making this country more secure I hate to admit it feels like its had the opposite effect. I don't want to be too much of a pessimist but I feel we are further from world peace now than we have been since the last world war. Economically I worry about the future of our country as well, we are about to have 2 more countries join the EU at a time when this country really cannot sustain the high levels of immigration we have had over the last few years. I am all for integration & multiculturalism but not when it destroys a way of life for the people born & raised in this country.

Knowing I am about to be responsible for another life does make me more concerned about the world around me but I refuse to let it stress me out too much. 2007 is going to be a fantastic year, if for nothing else then at least for the fact that I will finally be able to hold my son in my arms. As i type this the wind is howling outside & it has been pouring with rain all day, so if you are going out tonight please take care. One of the best things about the last year is discovering j'land, I started my journal because I wanted a record of my thoughts & feelings about becoming a parent but along the way I have made some great new friends ( okay so we may never meet face to face but that doesn't matter ). I always make fun of Nic being addicted to soaps on tv but I guess I am just as addicted to the new soap opera - blogging! Everyday I can't wait to read about what you have all been up to - let me know what you all think, are blogs  the new soap opera's/reality shows?

Happy New Year to you all....love VampJack x   

Nearly New Years Eve

First things first, my Grandad is back home & doing well. Thank you to all those who left comments or otherwise contacted me with your kind messages regarding my Grandad.

Tomorrow is obviously New Years Eve & I will try to find the time to add an end of year entry.

I'm sure plenty of you are going out tomorrow to celebrate so I wanted to wish you all a very Happy New Year, whatever you are doing tomorrow take care & enjoy.

Love to all...VampJack x

Merry Christmas

So tired today, didn't get to bed til nearly 1 this morning & I don't go out very often. Finished work at 5.30 yesterday then back at 7.30 to meet some of my friends there for a drink or 6. It was the first time we'd all been able to go out for a drink together so it was nice, one of my friends is nearly the same age as me & he was also a long haired freaky person in his youth so we spent a lot of the night reminiscing ( prob spelt that wrong but who cares ) bout some of the bands we had seen & other old fogey type stuff...very funny. Nic came out for 1 drink but then went back home cos the pub was too smokey for her, I asked her for my house keys but noooo, she said she'd stay up - then moaned when I got back late & she had to let me in!!

Bit of a cloud hanging over my family this christmas, my mum phoned this morning to tell me my Grandad hs been taken into hospital with pneumonia, he's 84 & has a bad heart, he's had a few heart attacks over the years so he's not the strong man he once was. Much as I will try to enjoy christmas my mind will be preoccupied with how Grandad is doing. I'm not one for having family around me all the time, I'm more of an independent person who likes the peace & quiet of being at home, I do sometimes feel guilty though because I haven't seen my Grandad for a few years, he lives quite a way from me so I don't get to see him. Over the last few years his mind has started to deteriorate & part of me doesn't want to see him all confused & not knowing who I am. He was always a very intelligent man & could charm anyone he met, I know its selfish but thats how I want to remember him. I hope he recovers from the pneumonia soon & maybe I will take L'il Vamp to see him as I know he would love that.

Nic's off out tonight with the girls for a meal, she's only going down the road but it means I get the house & the tv to myself so tonight is chill out night. Whatever it is you are doing over the next few days I hope you all have a fantastic christmas... love to you all....VampJack x 

Still here

Just thought I'd let you all know I am still alive. I have been doing late shifts at work so have been too tired to update my journal recently. This week at work is going to be really frustrating, the powers that be have decided in their infinite wisdom that it would be better to take on some temps to help out with my departments job during the busy christmas period, whilst at the same time making us all take a step backwards & work the inbound calls. So we have been trained to do a job where experience counts for a lot as it can save a lot of problems, if I have to contact you for some information, that info may lead to me asking you for something else because I know thats what Customs are likely to ask for. Instead I get to take mind numbingly boring calls while someone without the level of experience my colleagues & I have works the files, because they don't have our experience of the job the files will come back repeatedly asking for more info whereas we could sort it all in one call!!! Managers...what the hell do they know?

I have got some exciting news though - yesterday for the first time I felt L'il Vamp kicking!! Normally Nic tells me he's kicking so I put my hand on her stomach only for him to stop ( mind you he does the same if anyone else put their hand on her stomach so its not just me ). It seems so strange that this is going to be our last christmas just as a couple. We were going to put the decorations up at the weekend but neither of us could be bothered, it was the first weekend in ages that we have had a chance to relax.

Anyway gotta go...I hope all your christmas shopping is nearly done so you can relax at the weekends. Take care all... VampJack x