Another monday, another week of work ahead. This week I am on the early shift & for once getting up at ridiculous o clock is not a problem, Jack has seen to it that I get plenty of practice.
As any regular reader will know my entries have been few & far between recently, with having to look after Jack, do the housework & going to work I have hardly had any time for myself. This weekend was a little different, we still had lots to do but I managed to snatch a few moments here & there of 'me time'. There are those of you who have been reading this journal for months now so are well aware of the multitude of emotions I have experienced & this weekend I finally had time to reflect on the last year - I say the last year because when thinking how much my life has changed & what I have been through I had to reflect on what my life used to be like before Nic got pregnant.
I have been scared, happy, scared, worried, elated, nervous & so much more. When Nic first told me we were going to have a baby I didn't know what to think, all of a sudden with one sentence my world as I knew it was over, but a whole new exciting world had begun. There were times when I wasn't sure I could be a dad & times I thought I'd be the best dad in the world, but in the end all I can do is try to be the best dad I can. The 9 months sometimes seemed as though it would fly by but then once things settled down it really dragged & I was beginning to wonder if I would ever meet my son. Living with Nic was not always easy & I guess she probably feels the same about me, nothing makes you analyze your relationship more than the news of impending parenthood. At the end of the day we made it & are still together & we have a gorgeous little boy that has made us so happy.
The birth itself was strangely uneventful, we've all seen the births on tv where the woman threatens excrutiating pain to the man for making her go through the pain of childbirth & so I was expecting fireworks ( Nic is a very fiery person the same as me ) but I spent most of the day wishing Jack would hurry up so I could go home to bed!! Maybe it was the numerous amounts of pain relieving drugs they gave Nic but she was quite quiet. When I saw Jack for the very first time I didn't cry but I have never experienced such powerful emotions as at that moment, here was a life that Ihad helped create & that I would be responsible for during the next 16 years ( at least ). I had always describer babies as little bags of s&*t ( & trust me they are a lot of the time ) but Jack was & still is the most amazing little child I have ever seen, every little expession he has is priceless. We have pretty much turned into baby paparazzi taking so many pictures of this wonderful little creature that has stopped us getting any meaningful sleep & has puked, peed & pooed all over the place.
I have always believed in the power of continuously learning throughout life & the amount I have learnt over the last 5 & a half weeks ( yes he is that old already ) is quite simply shocking.
1 comment:
And you must savour every precious moment. My sons are now 19 and 10, and I was looking through the photograph album last week crying at the baby pictures, wondering where all those years have gone. I kinds feel redundant at times now. Little Jack will be a terrible teenager before you know it. Would love to see some more pics. You're doing a great job, he's a lucky little lad.
Lynbo x
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