Happy New year

Happy New Year to everyone in j'land.

This year I, like most of you have had some ups & downs. Most notably the best part of my year was finding out I am going to be a daddy, I can't believe its now less than 2 months to the due date ( feb 22nd ). I know I have said it before but I still cannot believe I have gone from being not bothered about having kids to being completely over the moon about L'il Vamp. This feels like the greatest thing to ever happen to me, mind you I might feel differently in 6 months time when I haven't had any sleep for months! Nic is finding it quite difficult at the moment as she is very uncomfortable with this little wriggly, kicking thing inside her. I'm sure she'll feel its all been worthwhile once she gets to hold our son. So this is the last new year when we get to go out without having to sort out babysitters, saying that L'il Vamp will give us the perfect excuse to stay at home when we can't be bothered going out.

Other good news this year was finally getting to have my day in court over the car accident I had in  june 2003, I find it hard to understand how it took over 3 years to be resolved but at least it is now resolved & I can now afford to insure a car again as the accident was found to be caused 100% by the other driver. His insurance company has also made me an offer now but I am waiting for my barristers advice before I accept it. Hopefully the cheque will be sent quite quickly if I accept the offer, it would be nice to have the extra cash when the baby arrives.

The year has not all been happy though, we have had some bad times but in an effort not to dwell on anything bad I will not go into the details here. Since I found out that I am going to be a dad the bad things don't get me down like they used to, okay so I still get frustrated & like to get things off my chest when things annoy or upset me but I have suffered with depression in the past & I know how different my life could be if I let everything get on top of me.

Globally there has been  a lot going on this year & unfortunately not all good. As mentioned in other journals in the last couple of days I too feel that we are not as safe as we used to be, we are still hearing about our soldiers dying in foreign countries that they really shouldn't be in but instead of making this country more secure I hate to admit it feels like its had the opposite effect. I don't want to be too much of a pessimist but I feel we are further from world peace now than we have been since the last world war. Economically I worry about the future of our country as well, we are about to have 2 more countries join the EU at a time when this country really cannot sustain the high levels of immigration we have had over the last few years. I am all for integration & multiculturalism but not when it destroys a way of life for the people born & raised in this country.

Knowing I am about to be responsible for another life does make me more concerned about the world around me but I refuse to let it stress me out too much. 2007 is going to be a fantastic year, if for nothing else then at least for the fact that I will finally be able to hold my son in my arms. As i type this the wind is howling outside & it has been pouring with rain all day, so if you are going out tonight please take care. One of the best things about the last year is discovering j'land, I started my journal because I wanted a record of my thoughts & feelings about becoming a parent but along the way I have made some great new friends ( okay so we may never meet face to face but that doesn't matter ). I always make fun of Nic being addicted to soaps on tv but I guess I am just as addicted to the new soap opera - blogging! Everyday I can't wait to read about what you have all been up to - let me know what you all think, are blogs  the new soap opera's/reality shows?

Happy New Year to you all....love VampJack x   

Nearly New Years Eve

First things first, my Grandad is back home & doing well. Thank you to all those who left comments or otherwise contacted me with your kind messages regarding my Grandad.

Tomorrow is obviously New Years Eve & I will try to find the time to add an end of year entry.

I'm sure plenty of you are going out tomorrow to celebrate so I wanted to wish you all a very Happy New Year, whatever you are doing tomorrow take care & enjoy.

Love to all...VampJack x

Merry Christmas

So tired today, didn't get to bed til nearly 1 this morning & I don't go out very often. Finished work at 5.30 yesterday then back at 7.30 to meet some of my friends there for a drink or 6. It was the first time we'd all been able to go out for a drink together so it was nice, one of my friends is nearly the same age as me & he was also a long haired freaky person in his youth so we spent a lot of the night reminiscing ( prob spelt that wrong but who cares ) bout some of the bands we had seen & other old fogey type stuff...very funny. Nic came out for 1 drink but then went back home cos the pub was too smokey for her, I asked her for my house keys but noooo, she said she'd stay up - then moaned when I got back late & she had to let me in!!

Bit of a cloud hanging over my family this christmas, my mum phoned this morning to tell me my Grandad hs been taken into hospital with pneumonia, he's 84 & has a bad heart, he's had a few heart attacks over the years so he's not the strong man he once was. Much as I will try to enjoy christmas my mind will be preoccupied with how Grandad is doing. I'm not one for having family around me all the time, I'm more of an independent person who likes the peace & quiet of being at home, I do sometimes feel guilty though because I haven't seen my Grandad for a few years, he lives quite a way from me so I don't get to see him. Over the last few years his mind has started to deteriorate & part of me doesn't want to see him all confused & not knowing who I am. He was always a very intelligent man & could charm anyone he met, I know its selfish but thats how I want to remember him. I hope he recovers from the pneumonia soon & maybe I will take L'il Vamp to see him as I know he would love that.

Nic's off out tonight with the girls for a meal, she's only going down the road but it means I get the house & the tv to myself so tonight is chill out night. Whatever it is you are doing over the next few days I hope you all have a fantastic christmas... love to you all....VampJack x 

Still here

Just thought I'd let you all know I am still alive. I have been doing late shifts at work so have been too tired to update my journal recently. This week at work is going to be really frustrating, the powers that be have decided in their infinite wisdom that it would be better to take on some temps to help out with my departments job during the busy christmas period, whilst at the same time making us all take a step backwards & work the inbound calls. So we have been trained to do a job where experience counts for a lot as it can save a lot of problems, if I have to contact you for some information, that info may lead to me asking you for something else because I know thats what Customs are likely to ask for. Instead I get to take mind numbingly boring calls while someone without the level of experience my colleagues & I have works the files, because they don't have our experience of the job the files will come back repeatedly asking for more info whereas we could sort it all in one call!!! Managers...what the hell do they know?

I have got some exciting news though - yesterday for the first time I felt L'il Vamp kicking!! Normally Nic tells me he's kicking so I put my hand on her stomach only for him to stop ( mind you he does the same if anyone else put their hand on her stomach so its not just me ). It seems so strange that this is going to be our last christmas just as a couple. We were going to put the decorations up at the weekend but neither of us could be bothered, it was the first weekend in ages that we have had a chance to relax.

Anyway gotta go...I hope all your christmas shopping is nearly done so you can relax at the weekends. Take care all... VampJack x